This is the short story of what has made me into what I am today. I did not bother to put in all the details for fear of boring you. I have walked this planet for almost 15 years now and I can tell you that is has been pure hell for me the whole way. I have gone through things that would make a grown man cry. When I was young, I walked a path of God, following in my parents footsteps. I would like to share my story with you. I have walked a life of sin and regret. At the age of 11 I was presented with a situation nobody should be forced to go through. I was placed in a position nobody should be placed in.

It all began on the night of August 29^th....I was born at night, in the middle of a massive thunderstorm. My mother was supposedly unable to have a baby so when she found out she was pregnant with me, the excitement amongst her and my father was undescribable. I was immediately nicknamed the "miracle baby." I almost died during birth. My neck was scrunched against my chest so the doctors had to go inside my mothers womb and straighten me out. I was without oxygen for almost 2 minutes. After my birth, my mother seemed to grow tired of me and the role of being a mother. She would go for days without feeding me or changing my diaper. One night, she decided to leave me, alone, in my crib when I was sick with a terrible fever and an ear infection. My father came home to find my mother gone and me crying in my crib. I didnt see my mother for another year. Then one day, she called up my father and told him she was coming home. My father being the caring and somewhat gullible man he is, let her come home for good. She had been cheating on him with another man. I didnt even know my mother when she returned and since then, I never was really close to her.

Things seemed ok for the next 2 years. In that time, we moved from Globe, AZ to a small town in Montana. Forgive me though, I forgot the name. This is where my little sister, Sarah, was born. I was almost 4 at the time. I swore right there, even though I was only 3, that I would protect her from my mothers hateful ways. My father, nor anybody else could see what I saw in my mother. It wasnt good. After my sisters birth, we moved from that little town in Montana to Alaska. On the way, we lived in many other places, but there are too many to name. (I have moved 15 times in my life.) We traveled to Alaska with another family. We had to live in a cabin with them. We didnt have any bedrooms...just a bunch of sleeping bags. We had no bathroom and no bath. So, we used a bush for a toilet and the river for the bath tub. As strange as it sounds, it worked. For dinners, we didnt have much, so we ate rice and fish. Living beside a river provided us with the food we needed, but still, for two whole families it wasnt much.

After Alaska we traveled some more. We finally settled down in a town called Burstall, Saskatchewan, Canada, where my little sister Rachel, was born. I was 6 at the time and I also swore that I would protect her from my mother. We moved from Burstall to a ranch out in the boonies of Alberta, Canada. There, we lived for about 2 years. My father went from a laborer to a field inspector for a very big oil company. Making lots of money every month, life became much easier. Unfortunately, being a field inspector brings much stress. Smoking 4 packs of cigarettes a day didnt help my father either. One night, he had to go on a business trip. That night, he didnt feel too good so he figured it was the cigarettes. He threw them away. Ironically, at 1:30 that night, he had a massive heart attack. My father, being the determined, brave man he is, drove himself to the hospital where he received immediate attention. My mother drove my sisters and I up to the hospital so we could see him. I barely recognized him. I was only 8 years old.

Once he got out of the hospital, life was hard again. With no work, there was no money rolling in. The climate was also too humid. It affected my fathers lungs as well as my little sister, Sarahs, so we decided to move to a dryer climate. We packed up and left.

We came back to the states where we stayed with relatives for awhile. Then we moved back down to Arizona and ended up in New Mexico. We lived in a small 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house for a year....it was tough. The house was old, and not in very well condition, but it was all we could afford at the time. We moved from there to a motel where my mother had gotten a job as the manager. She made my sisters and I stay in a motel room by ourselves while her and my father got the house to themselves. She said it was so she could have privacy. Supposedly we made her feel uneasy. Ha! WE made HER feel uneasy?....I was afraid for my life every moment I was with her. She hated me and was jealous of the attention my sisters and I got from my father...only because we were his children. She couldnt understand this, she wanted him all to herself.

She lost her job at the motel so we moved into a VERY small apartment where the bathroom was bigger than the kitchen. Times were tough and money was extremely tight, but like always, we made it through. She left for a second time while staying at this apartment. We didnt know where she was for a week. She finally came home. Things seemed ok, for the time being.

Then, an opportunity came up. There was a large double wide, mobile home falling under foreclosure and it was up for grabs. My father went for it the first chance he got, and thats where we ended up. The house is beautiful, and we have all the land anybody could dream of having. I have my freedom, something I never had.

On the night of April 15 of 2000, my mother was angry. She yelled at me, told me I was unworthy of the life she gave me and that she hated me. She told my father and my sisters goodbye, and gave them a kiss on the cheek. She left. I watched her car get farther and farther away and I knew then that she was never coming back. I was 11 years old. From that day on, I have had to basically be a mother to my 2 younger sisters. I was home schooled all my life, but the more the schooling went on, the more tired my mother became of it. I ended up teaching myself as well as my 2 younger sisters. After my mother left, I had to begin public school. The big transition was tough for me as well as my sisters but I have grown used to it. As tough as it is, I know its for the better to be without my mother. As conceited as it sounds, I know I am a better mother than my mother ever was or will be.

My mother and father tried many times to get back together but it never worked. She would move back in, get tired of it, and leave all over again, tearing out the hearts of my 2 younger sisters and my father without any regard for their emotions whatsoever. It tore me up inside to see what she was doing to them. I never had the chance to be a kid. After my mothers leaving, I had to grow up extremely fast. I resent her for taking away my childhood. I never knew what it was like to be a kid, nor will I ever.

Im almost 15 now, and although I am depressed, I am happy as well. I have my freedom, and I have a life. I know that I will never do the things my mother or others have done to me, rather, I will look back on these things and know what NOT to do to others. Its tough not having a mother to be there for you, but you get used to it. You kind of become your own mother and guide in life. This helped make me a stronger person.

During my lifetime, I moved 15 times, lost many people I loved to death and worse, saw births and marriages, lived in run down homes (they were so run down I dont even know if you could call them that), watched my mother leave and come back, only to leave again and rip the hearts of my sisters and my father out and take them with her......my life has been long, tiring, rough, but worth it. I could write my entire life story with every detail but it would take too much time. I have a life to live, and I cant take time out from it to write my life story. Maybe someday, when I am old and dying, I will sit down and write everything out. But for the time being, Im going to live my life to the fullest and die a happy old woman, content in the fact that I did everything I wanted to do, and hopefully put smiles on the faces of a few people.